Tuesday, January 20th, 2015
Well, New Years Eve itself was no big whoop. We wanted to keep it low-key, as Rebecca felt as if she did not have a real Christmas break, plus we had the missionaries scheduled to come over for dinner. We put out the luminaries for the last night of the season just as they arrived, and they truly wolfed down their meal to get home by 7 pm. After I drove them home, we rented 'Guardians of the Galaxy' on DirecTV, neither of us thought it was that great, and I was glad that I did not see it at a theater. Rebecca went to bed early after that, and I went to bed around 11, 11:30 tops.
The rest of the New Year was pretty uneventful too, with only a one month layoff, it was our ward's turn for Building Clean-up, so I was there on the 3rd with a pretty low turnout. We went to church on Sunday at 9 am (Ugh to getting up early, but Yay for being finished at 12 pm!) and came home.
Anyway, around 1 pm, I pick up a phone call a second or two after Rebecca did downstairs. It is a voice that we haven't heard in well over a year: "Hi Mom." I was stunned and Rebecca came running up the stairs. We were totally shocked, the last time we heard from her was at the end of September 2013, and when we called her back in October, no answer, and when called her for Thanksgiving 2013, the phone number had been disconnected. Both of us had been thinking about her welfare & safety, especially over Christmas.
We were both totally surprised, in that she seemed coherent and sober and wasn't blaming us for everything or yelling at us. We spoke for a while, and then agreed to meet for dinner. On Thursday January 8th we met her at an Outback restaurant for dinner. We did not how she would look, or what would happen when she walked in the door, but she looked relatively "normal" for a young Millennial. She was polite, had a steady job, had obtained her driver's license, and was making payments on a Ford Explorer. She had got herself out of an abusive relationship and seemed to be diligently trying to improve her life. Both of us were pleasantly shocked.
Neither of us felt like we were in danger or anything like that. On the 11th, Rebecca had the idea to call her up & invite her over for dinner, and she came into our house for the first time since 2009, and we watched the Broncos lose to the Colts (We were happy, she was not). Rebecca even sent her home with some grilled chicken for her lunch the next day, and the remaining brownies.
We've talked a few times since. My head was in a fog during the game and dinner, and apparently I missed a comment that she made about "when we kicked her out". I'm glad that I didn't hear it, because that would have really pissed me off to no end.
Since then we have talked a few times. We had agreed to meet for dinner every couple of weeks, but on Saturday she told us that she was in the process of having to move closer to Grand Junction for her job (she is in building management as a subcontractor to the bank for evictions, trash outs, yard maintenance & snow removal, etc.). It seems to be a good opportunity for her.
I think that we both got the feeling that she was thinking that with a few apologies and mea culpas, we could go right back as if she never left; which was horrible: the yelling, and the lying, and the abuse and the fear, which took a huge toll on our marriage.
Rebecca and I told her that she had destroyed our trust, and while we were willing to rebuild it, it would not be overnight, and there was a lot of damage done. I honestly don't know how or if we can overcome what was to us, our (Rebecca and I) abusive relationship, without a lot of time and trust to be regained.
I am however, extremely thankful that she is no longer on the street, seems to be honest with us, and is looking to improve her life, and that we are in contact with her, without the screaming & yelling.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
The Holiday season Part Two: Christmas
This Christmas season started later than usual for us. We drove home on November 30th, and it was a stressful drive, trying to get through a couple of snowstorms to get Byron from the kennel before they closed. On December 1st, neither of us felt much like putting up the tree, although Rebecca did put up some decorations like the Advent calendar. Rebecca put up the tree while I was away the next weekend (7th & 8th), to Portland Oregon for a business trip. I stayed at McMenamins Kennedy School Hotel, which was cool, it being an old, old school turned into a hotel. The best part of the trip was traveling while the 49ers were enduring a loss to the Raiders, as if I were home, Rebecca would have rubbed my face in the loss.
I did miss some caroling on Sunday night though, but we ended up being caroled three times: twice I was home, and twice Rebecca was home. May God bless those carolers, because I LOVE it when carolers come by. We prepped the rest of the time by listening to Christmas music, and we went and looked at lights in our neighborhood, and of course we did most of our shopping on Amazon Prime, as well as counting down the days with our Advent calendar every night, but our real Christmas season started when my brother Steven flew in on the evening of the 23rd of December.
We were so excited, our last family visitor for Christmas had been seven years prior. We stopped off at Taco Bell on the way home, and oddly enough I think that was the only time that we went out for food during his entire trip. We also continued our tradition of watching "Christmas Story" to kick things off right, and put out our luminaries.
Christmas Eve is our big celebration day, and both Rebecca and I were scheduled to be off-work. That morning Steve & I played video games, and then went out to pick up a few things for the next day. That evening, we had the continuation of a tradition introduced by parent's tradition of bring home leftovers from a deli tray from Jack's Auto Service days: our own specialized deli tray arranged by Rebecca (heaps of good meats and cheese), supplemented by tamales (from Corona's restaurant here near us, so much easier to pick up 8 or 9 tamales than for Rebecca to make a bunch just for us, although Rebecca's are much better), tons of different cookies & candy, chips and dip, a veggie tray, and sherbet ice-cream punch. We watched "Mr. Krueger's Christmas," the "Joy to the World" DVD from the LDS church, and ended with 'A Christmas Carol", the one with Patrick Stewart, which is the best version in my opinion.
We then sang Christmas carols, and instead of our normal two voices a capella singing, we had a Christmas upgrade as Steven played piano music from his phone, and added a third voice. We then read from our Nativity book "When Jesus was born in Bethlehem" by Joseph Brickey, an artbook that has pictures to correlate with the scriptures from the New Testament. We have read this each year we have been married, and keep notes on the book cover so that we can remember each year's most important part of our Christmas celebration. It was kind of late by then, and we exchanged gifts, including a tradition from Rebecca's family, new sleepwear. Luckily the sleepwear we procured for Steven fit perfectly, which was great as we keep our thermostat pretty low on winter nights (normally 53, all the way up to 56 with him visiting).
It was now past 11 pm, and I will let Rebecca tell the details on her blog if she so chooses, but I was so proud of her Christian service. She had offered to watch a couple of her daycare children as the mother went into labor with a Christmas baby, and she went to go stay with the kids. She was very distraught at leaving Steven alone, but I told her that we would play video games & it would be just like she went to bed.
The next morning, we awoke to the wonderful smell of Rebecca cooking breakfast, with two little kids joining us for Christmas. I'm sure it was not how she wanted to spend Christmas, but she really shows me how to be nice to people. I personally could not believe that neither of their parents were there to help, but not my business. It was my business to tell Rebecca to put her foot down for the 26th though. There is a fine line between being kind and having people walk over you.
The great window dressing (as we didn't go outside in it), was that it started snowing on Christmas Day, giving us all a White Christams. When we moved here, we thought every Christmas would be a White Christmas, but it turns out this was maybe our third, possibly fourth time, out of now ten Christmases in Colorado.
We intended to see the third Hobbit movie on the 26th, but it was sold out, so we got tickets for the 27th, which gave Rebecca time to use her certificates to the Quilt store, and start another project. She had made these cool Star Wars hand towels for Steven, and I got to keep the "prototype" first one she made. What she does is quite impressive, this year I know that she made my Dad a wall decoration, my mother a quilt, and her father a quilt, and a quilt for Kenzie, one of our daycare kids. So we were all mostly upstairs, she enjoyed her hobby, and we enjoyed SWTOR on the 25th and 26th, celebrating SWTOR Life Day, and enjoying all the yummy leftovers until the 27th.
Saturday the 27th was our "outside the house" day. Rebecca made her famous buttermilk fried chicken (which lasted us all day), and we all went for one hour massages at Greenleaf Massage. We came home & prepped for a showing of the Hobbit. We went to Flatirons 14, where we all enjoyed the plush Pleather reclining seats offered there; yes there are less seats now with the recliners & reserved seating, but those seats are most excellent!
Steven went to church with us on Sunday for our last 1 pm start time (9 am this year). The Niners were out of the playoffs, so on Sunday I didn't even bother watching their last game. We enjoyed as much time with him as we could before we had to take him to the airport that evening. Luckily he avoided a very cold snap that began the next day.
It was so hard to say goodbye, we enjoyed him being here so much. I hope that he enjoyed himself too, and we are so grateful he came out to visit us, as we know it was expensive to fly for Christmas. Come back again next year Steven, you are always invited!
I did miss some caroling on Sunday night though, but we ended up being caroled three times: twice I was home, and twice Rebecca was home. May God bless those carolers, because I LOVE it when carolers come by. We prepped the rest of the time by listening to Christmas music, and we went and looked at lights in our neighborhood, and of course we did most of our shopping on Amazon Prime, as well as counting down the days with our Advent calendar every night, but our real Christmas season started when my brother Steven flew in on the evening of the 23rd of December.
We were so excited, our last family visitor for Christmas had been seven years prior. We stopped off at Taco Bell on the way home, and oddly enough I think that was the only time that we went out for food during his entire trip. We also continued our tradition of watching "Christmas Story" to kick things off right, and put out our luminaries.
Christmas Eve is our big celebration day, and both Rebecca and I were scheduled to be off-work. That morning Steve & I played video games, and then went out to pick up a few things for the next day. That evening, we had the continuation of a tradition introduced by parent's tradition of bring home leftovers from a deli tray from Jack's Auto Service days: our own specialized deli tray arranged by Rebecca (heaps of good meats and cheese), supplemented by tamales (from Corona's restaurant here near us, so much easier to pick up 8 or 9 tamales than for Rebecca to make a bunch just for us, although Rebecca's are much better), tons of different cookies & candy, chips and dip, a veggie tray, and sherbet ice-cream punch. We watched "Mr. Krueger's Christmas," the "Joy to the World" DVD from the LDS church, and ended with 'A Christmas Carol", the one with Patrick Stewart, which is the best version in my opinion.
We then sang Christmas carols, and instead of our normal two voices a capella singing, we had a Christmas upgrade as Steven played piano music from his phone, and added a third voice. We then read from our Nativity book "When Jesus was born in Bethlehem" by Joseph Brickey, an artbook that has pictures to correlate with the scriptures from the New Testament. We have read this each year we have been married, and keep notes on the book cover so that we can remember each year's most important part of our Christmas celebration. It was kind of late by then, and we exchanged gifts, including a tradition from Rebecca's family, new sleepwear. Luckily the sleepwear we procured for Steven fit perfectly, which was great as we keep our thermostat pretty low on winter nights (normally 53, all the way up to 56 with him visiting).
It was now past 11 pm, and I will let Rebecca tell the details on her blog if she so chooses, but I was so proud of her Christian service. She had offered to watch a couple of her daycare children as the mother went into labor with a Christmas baby, and she went to go stay with the kids. She was very distraught at leaving Steven alone, but I told her that we would play video games & it would be just like she went to bed.
The next morning, we awoke to the wonderful smell of Rebecca cooking breakfast, with two little kids joining us for Christmas. I'm sure it was not how she wanted to spend Christmas, but she really shows me how to be nice to people. I personally could not believe that neither of their parents were there to help, but not my business. It was my business to tell Rebecca to put her foot down for the 26th though. There is a fine line between being kind and having people walk over you.
The great window dressing (as we didn't go outside in it), was that it started snowing on Christmas Day, giving us all a White Christams. When we moved here, we thought every Christmas would be a White Christmas, but it turns out this was maybe our third, possibly fourth time, out of now ten Christmases in Colorado.
We intended to see the third Hobbit movie on the 26th, but it was sold out, so we got tickets for the 27th, which gave Rebecca time to use her certificates to the Quilt store, and start another project. She had made these cool Star Wars hand towels for Steven, and I got to keep the "prototype" first one she made. What she does is quite impressive, this year I know that she made my Dad a wall decoration, my mother a quilt, and her father a quilt, and a quilt for Kenzie, one of our daycare kids. So we were all mostly upstairs, she enjoyed her hobby, and we enjoyed SWTOR on the 25th and 26th, celebrating SWTOR Life Day, and enjoying all the yummy leftovers until the 27th.
Saturday the 27th was our "outside the house" day. Rebecca made her famous buttermilk fried chicken (which lasted us all day), and we all went for one hour massages at Greenleaf Massage. We came home & prepped for a showing of the Hobbit. We went to Flatirons 14, where we all enjoyed the plush Pleather reclining seats offered there; yes there are less seats now with the recliners & reserved seating, but those seats are most excellent!
Steven went to church with us on Sunday for our last 1 pm start time (9 am this year). The Niners were out of the playoffs, so on Sunday I didn't even bother watching their last game. We enjoyed as much time with him as we could before we had to take him to the airport that evening. Luckily he avoided a very cold snap that began the next day.
It was so hard to say goodbye, we enjoyed him being here so much. I hope that he enjoyed himself too, and we are so grateful he came out to visit us, as we know it was expensive to fly for Christmas. Come back again next year Steven, you are always invited!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Post holiday season Part 3.1: update
I'm channeling a little Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or Faulkner, in that this post is not linear in the timeline. I still intend on doing the Holidays Part two and three, but my best laid plans went awry.
So, on Saturday morning as I was doing my calling, Ward Building Rep, overseeing the building cleaning, the sister cleaning the chapel had one last bag of trash, which I brought out to the dumpster as the kids who were handling trash were playing basketball, and I had already had to pull them out of basketball twice to finish their job. It was my third trip through the icy parking lot, and no, I was not smart enough to think of just loading it into the car & driving to the dumpster. Besides, yuck, the potential of dripping garbage bags in my Bully?
Anyway, I'm almost back to the lobby doors and thinking over and over to myself: "Be careful, watch for the black ice." I feel my right foot give way and the next thing I know I'm realizing my backside is freezing and my head feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat, and I'm feeling for blood. I think I must have passed out for a few seconds, but luckily there was no blood. My insulated padded cap with ear flaps protected me from that at least. My hands & butt are not sore, so I think I went straight backward onto my head.
I manage to get myself up and limp into the lobby, rubbing my head and trying to think properly. I am freaking out, knowing my brain bowl just bounced on the pavement. I asked a couple of brothers if they had oil for a blessing. I was not vomiting, nausesous, seeing double or having blurred vision, so I felt safe enough to drive myself home. I immediately took some Naproxen & some Prednisone I had left over from the allergist, and iced my skull.
My gaming group was scheduled to arrive in a few minutes, and I knew they had traveled, so I did not cancel. Instead, as both Rebecca & I were under the false impression that you don't allow someone with a concussion to sleep, I asked them as they arrived to notice if I behaved erratically.
I will admit that for the session and the whole weekend I was in a haze. Arianne even said something at dinner on Sunday that I missed that would have angered me, which Rebecca pointed out later. Yes, you read that correctly: Arianne. You will have to wait for the Holiday Update Part Three for more info. I didn't even really enjoy the Broncos loss on Sunday as I had a hard time concentrating. I played SWTOR for about 15 minutes the whole weekend, just basically logging in & crafting, which if you know me, tells you that I was out of it.
Anyway, as time went on, my neck & head started hurting more. I never became nauseous or saw "stars", but it was difficult to sleep due to the pain, so I kept taking Naproxen & icing all weekend. I took yesterday off, due to pain & haziness & inability to concentrate.
I tried working today, but after lunch called it quits, and I have a massage scheduled for tonight where I am hoping that she can gently persuade my neck to unclench. I now need to take a break, but I do plan on Holday Parts Two and Three to come...
So, on Saturday morning as I was doing my calling, Ward Building Rep, overseeing the building cleaning, the sister cleaning the chapel had one last bag of trash, which I brought out to the dumpster as the kids who were handling trash were playing basketball, and I had already had to pull them out of basketball twice to finish their job. It was my third trip through the icy parking lot, and no, I was not smart enough to think of just loading it into the car & driving to the dumpster. Besides, yuck, the potential of dripping garbage bags in my Bully?
Anyway, I'm almost back to the lobby doors and thinking over and over to myself: "Be careful, watch for the black ice." I feel my right foot give way and the next thing I know I'm realizing my backside is freezing and my head feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat, and I'm feeling for blood. I think I must have passed out for a few seconds, but luckily there was no blood. My insulated padded cap with ear flaps protected me from that at least. My hands & butt are not sore, so I think I went straight backward onto my head.
I manage to get myself up and limp into the lobby, rubbing my head and trying to think properly. I am freaking out, knowing my brain bowl just bounced on the pavement. I asked a couple of brothers if they had oil for a blessing. I was not vomiting, nausesous, seeing double or having blurred vision, so I felt safe enough to drive myself home. I immediately took some Naproxen & some Prednisone I had left over from the allergist, and iced my skull.
My gaming group was scheduled to arrive in a few minutes, and I knew they had traveled, so I did not cancel. Instead, as both Rebecca & I were under the false impression that you don't allow someone with a concussion to sleep, I asked them as they arrived to notice if I behaved erratically.
I will admit that for the session and the whole weekend I was in a haze. Arianne even said something at dinner on Sunday that I missed that would have angered me, which Rebecca pointed out later. Yes, you read that correctly: Arianne. You will have to wait for the Holiday Update Part Three for more info. I didn't even really enjoy the Broncos loss on Sunday as I had a hard time concentrating. I played SWTOR for about 15 minutes the whole weekend, just basically logging in & crafting, which if you know me, tells you that I was out of it.
Anyway, as time went on, my neck & head started hurting more. I never became nauseous or saw "stars", but it was difficult to sleep due to the pain, so I kept taking Naproxen & icing all weekend. I took yesterday off, due to pain & haziness & inability to concentrate.
I tried working today, but after lunch called it quits, and I have a massage scheduled for tonight where I am hoping that she can gently persuade my neck to unclench. I now need to take a break, but I do plan on Holday Parts Two and Three to come...
Friday, January 9, 2015
The Holiday season Part One: Thanksgiving
I can't believe three holidays came & went yust like dat!
For Thanksgiving we drove out to Utah to celebrate with the Smiths, as well as my parents & brother Steven. who had driven out from California. It would have been really nice to see the whole fam-damily, but a bigger house would definitely have been needed. Karen did make a 24 pound bird though, so there might have been enough food.
We left after work @4 pm on Tuesday, & drove about 4 hours & stayed the night in a Rawlins, Wyoming hotel. The stay was free as I used my Hilton points accrued during my travels at Blue Horseshoe, There was tremendous wind gusts that night (over 65+ mph), and we saw two big rigs that had been blown over on the side of the road. The next day, the winds were calmer at 50+ mph, and we completed our trip to Lehi, where we greeted everyone & then went to In & Out Burger for Lunner.
Highlights for the trip that I can remember over a month later now, were being with family, going to Trevor's deacon ordination, great food & cookies, a game of expanded version of Shadows Over Camelot (where Trevor was the traitor, so fooling his father, i.e. "my son has such a kind heart"...ahem), shopping trips, a miserable Seattle vs. Niners Thurs. Night Football game, and our introduction to Austenland. Rebecca loved it so much she asked for it for Christmas. Low-lights included me thinking I left my N7 zippered hoodie in Wyoming, and the people at Byron's boarding place freaking out & transferring him to a different facility. That is all.
We had to leave on Sunday morning Dec. 01, so on the way back, we did go through a couple of snowstorms in Wyoming (we hates I-80 weather), asking a rest stop if there was said N7 hoodie in the Lost & Found, and a frantic construction detour through Fort Collins to pick up our dog at the new boarding facility before they closed for the evening. Then of course we got home & found my hoodie on the kitchen table. Luckily though we got home @7 pm, so we were able to have some time that evening to get ready for the new week.
And I had to prep with the knowledge that I would fly to Portland the very next Sunday for a business trip. Thus endeth Part One. My lunch break is over.
For Thanksgiving we drove out to Utah to celebrate with the Smiths, as well as my parents & brother Steven. who had driven out from California. It would have been really nice to see the whole fam-damily, but a bigger house would definitely have been needed. Karen did make a 24 pound bird though, so there might have been enough food.
We left after work @4 pm on Tuesday, & drove about 4 hours & stayed the night in a Rawlins, Wyoming hotel. The stay was free as I used my Hilton points accrued during my travels at Blue Horseshoe, There was tremendous wind gusts that night (over 65+ mph), and we saw two big rigs that had been blown over on the side of the road. The next day, the winds were calmer at 50+ mph, and we completed our trip to Lehi, where we greeted everyone & then went to In & Out Burger for Lunner.
Highlights for the trip that I can remember over a month later now, were being with family, going to Trevor's deacon ordination, great food & cookies, a game of expanded version of Shadows Over Camelot (where Trevor was the traitor, so fooling his father, i.e. "my son has such a kind heart"...ahem), shopping trips, a miserable Seattle vs. Niners Thurs. Night Football game, and our introduction to Austenland. Rebecca loved it so much she asked for it for Christmas. Low-lights included me thinking I left my N7 zippered hoodie in Wyoming, and the people at Byron's boarding place freaking out & transferring him to a different facility. That is all.
We had to leave on Sunday morning Dec. 01, so on the way back, we did go through a couple of snowstorms in Wyoming (we hates I-80 weather), asking a rest stop if there was said N7 hoodie in the Lost & Found, and a frantic construction detour through Fort Collins to pick up our dog at the new boarding facility before they closed for the evening. Then of course we got home & found my hoodie on the kitchen table. Luckily though we got home @7 pm, so we were able to have some time that evening to get ready for the new week.
And I had to prep with the knowledge that I would fly to Portland the very next Sunday for a business trip. Thus endeth Part One. My lunch break is over.
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